It doesn’t come as a surprise to me that more women are stressed over the holidays than men.

On top of the ‘usual’ workload of looking after the family and working, women generally shoulder more of the responsibility for organizing the holidays, gift shopping, planning meals, decorating, cooking, to year-end holiday parties and activities.   A recent survey by the American Psychological Association bears this out.   44% of women said that they were more stressed over the holidays than men at 31%.

So, what is supposed to be a joyous time with family and friends can wind up being exhausting and stressful.  Stress can also affect your health.

Here is what I recommend to help you get into the holiday spirit without triggering stress and anxiety.

  1. Create a to do list and then simplify it. If long line ups in the stores wears out your patience and creates anxiety–do more of your shopping on line.
  2. Share tasks. I recently was at a holiday gathering for nineteen, where one of the adult sons made the stuffing and cranberry sauce, while the other son bought the pies and ice cream. And everyone helped set the table and pitched in doing the dishes.  We tend to take on too much and often don’t ask for help. This year, make that one of your holiday resolutions.
  3. Be realistic.  It doesn’t have to be the perfect holiday.  Focus instead on the things that are important.  Cut back on things that are nice but not necessary.
  4. Learn to say ‘no’.  It’s ok to say no to certain events.  If it cuts into your time for the things that are a priority, says no and save your energy and time for the things that count and make your feel good. Women often have difficulty saying no, as we often simply want to please. Saying no can happen in 3 easy steps: open your mouth.  Politely decline, say no thanks, no, it just doesn’t work for me. Close your mouth. Don’t say you’ll try, or maybe as that does not reduce your stress.  Merely say no to whatever, which truthfully means you are saying yes, to something else, something more important for you right now.
  5. Relatives– If you have a hard time being around relatives, set time limits for those visits.
  6. Be mindful.  There is no doubt that practicing mindfulness is a big assist during stressful times.  Mindfulness means that you stay in the moment without judging yourself rather than your mind bouncing around in a thousand directions.  Mindfulness is also considered good for heart health.
  7. Take Time for Yourself. This is one of the most important things you can do both during the holidays and throughout the year. .  We tend to do more for everyone else, than we do for ourselves. That can stress our bodies as well as our minds.  Take time to go for a workout, a long walk, quiet time, even a nap far from the madding crowds.


If any of these tips work for you this holiday season, why not make them part of your New Year’s resolutions. Happy Holidays !!!



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